Wednesday, August 27, 2014

manna

A couple weeks ago, I listened to a itinerant preacher share his experiences...one of the recurring themes in his sermon was about how he lavishly shared his resources especially money... he would tip taxi drivers, waitress, air stewardesses...and basically anyone he came into contact with because he believed in using manna to spread the kingdom of God...I was somewhat leery because I thought he was hinting that the congregation should give him more money (he was selling some books..) and got slightly offended and wasn't open to his message at all and thought why should I give money away to spread the gospel? Surely one could do that in other ways....

Fast forward to Monday this week....I was asked to go for a lunch on short notice and there were four persons in total...I was early and waited for the other three to arrive...the moment they did and sat down, one of the girls looked at me directly and said, "I was going to treat the other two persons but I didn't factor you in."

Can someone say ouch?

This girl used to sell insurance...and I had bought several policies from her...during the time she was my agent, she was rather nice and generous..... now she's working in a different field and she loves to share about how much God loves her and how mightily He is using her in supernatural ways..

I guess maybe she didn't realize that instead of insurance, she's selling the gospel of Christ now...

How much would the meal would have cost? About $35 per person tops.

If I were a non-believer, would I believe that the God she serves is an abundant loving God?

Nope.

As a believer, would I believe that God has truly transformed her life?

Nope.

And the silly thing is..it's really not about the money.... I could have paid for it myself...it's not a big deal....it was just how unloving and unkind the person came across...no one likes to be excluded...God, please give me the grace to forgive and flush my heart with love for this person...




Tuesday, August 26, 2014

静婷爱神

God is truly gracious.

A friend was commenting on my new surname and she said that it sounds similar to 'awesome'.

I told her cheerfully that my Chinese name is indeed very awesome..!

Word for word, it would translate to 'Chin Ting loves God'.

I told my friend that it would be sufficient to just write my Chinese name on my tombstone when the time comes because that would be the highest tribute..that if at the end of my journey on earth, the people around me would remember me as a person who truly loved God....

Thursday, August 21, 2014

finally?

We've received a response from the National Visa Centre yesterday.

Now we are *just* waiting for the interview date at the US embassy in Singapore....there should be instructions on a medical exam before the interview as well... The interview shouldn't be too much of a hassle... from people who have gone through the interviews, the questions should focus on how well I know my husband and details of our relationship. 

Was looking at people's timelines from this email to the day of interview.... 4 weeks in Singapore and the other one was 6 weeks in Madras...

The other thing that slightly concerns me are the police checks...which was not asked for.....but other people have mentioned that police checks are necessary for ALL the countries that a person has lived in...and that has resulted in further delays....so for me, that means Switzerland and Australia?? Hmmmm... 

Lord, please pave the journey for us....and preserve our peace and joy!!!

**

Oh wait!!!! I just realized that I forgot to give thanks for the fact that the documents have been processed in LESS than 60 days as per the last correspondence....

God, in You only do we place our trust...

(and also thought about the police checks...am wondering if the people who mentioned that they needed checks from other countries were Singaporean...but guess most probably not....and now I'm thinking that the police check which I have already submitted will be sufficient...so yeah...I will stop fretting and just rest.....) 



Monday, August 18, 2014

Conversation

watched Sons of God (free online with promo code and vimeo sign up!) yesterday...and someone who was miraculously healed from cancer said something along these lines...

"God did not want to talk to me about my cancer- He wanted to talk about my destiny. So I started talking about my destiny with Him. And one year later, the cancer was all gone."

That sounds like a brilliant idea... talking to God about things that He wants to talk about...


The best spouse

I think the Keeper is the best husband in the world. 

Why? Is it because he is so accommodating? Considerate? Gentle? Kind? Handsome? Hardworking? Godly?

Yes, he's all that.

But he's the best husband because he is God's choice for me. 

:))

There is no perfect spouse...it is faith in a perfect God that will keep a marriage buoyant in turbulent waters...that a marriage is not meant to make you or him happy, but a marital union is meant to make the both of you more holy...and when you aim for 'holy', 'happy' is an incidental by-result...





Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Bless the Lord O my soul...

my husband said something that made me cry today.

He asked me if I wanted to join a disaster relief course in Kentucky on the 17th of October.

The tears just started flowing and I said,

"Sweetie, I don't think I'll be there yet."

Being separated from the person that you love the most is hard.

Waiting without a confirmed date to see that person again is harder.

But OK! We'll get there...

and in the meantime, here's what I'll do...



Monday, August 11, 2014

The Root

I think I have finally identified the root of most of the quarrels that the Keeper and I have... on my part, it is the troubling doubt, "Does he really love me??!" When he seemed a bit careless with his words or actions, that was the conclusion I'd instantly jump to.... "That proves he doesn't love me!!!!" 

I didn't realize it previously but the Keeper takes our marriage extremely seriously.....he sees it (correctly!) as a lifelong commitment between us and God. And then I thought about the vows in which he said that he will give his life for me like Christ did for his church....and inquired,

"Sweetie, will you die for me?"

Without hesitation, he said, "yes."

Wow. 

When I have full confidence that my husband loves me and is committed to our relationship with his very life....it is very easy for me to assume the best of him and the situation and the tendency to want to fight him disappears.. 

A parallel perhaps might be drawn with Christ and His bride....sometimes we may doubt God's love..and when we do wonder, we tend to wander off...sulk and throw tantrums....and wrestle with Him and accuse Him of things that He's not guilty of...but He has already proven His love on the cross with the ultimate sacrifice.....so let us be smart and do ourselves a favour by relinquishing those lies and bask in the love of the One who willingly went to Hades and back...

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Intimacy

The other day, something awkward happened. 

I was leaving church and asked a friend if she wanted to go home together since we live rather close by and she said that she is going home with two other ladies who live her area and one of them who was standing next to her.
Then she mentioned that she saw my youngest sister and asked me if I'm going home with her. Then I said that most probably I'd get a lift from her then.
The lady next to her perked up and asked if she could get a lift too...and I said that I've have to ask... but I didn't... and I feel rather bad about it..

Why? 

1. I really don't know this lady and have not seen her before in my life.
2. I don't think that my sister was that happy to give me a lift even tho we live in the same block. (things have not been too cordial between us for some time now.)
3. I also didn't think that she likes to give random people lifts...as she and her husband are usually very much sleep deprived and their car is usually very dirty and I wasn't sure if they would be embarrassed by that...
I was thinking in my mind...lady, if it is my husband, I can definitely ask and know that he will say yes... cos I know him so well...he rarely passes up a chance to show love and to serve others. 


Now I wonder if it's in any way similar to our relationship with Christ.....that if we need a favor or some help, when we're close to Him, we'll know His character and preferences, it'd be easy for us to know His response and to ask Him for anything without any fear or reservations...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

mommy, how much do you make?

On not attaching a dollar value to being a stay home mom...article here.
"Motherhood isn’t cheap..... But it is free!" (like Christ's work on the cross..) 


why do we need to receive Christ?

I love my friend who's not a believer yet and is so authentic and childlike with her questions that she sets me thinking and digging deeper into my own faith.

so today I was chatting to her (after a delightfully lavish feast by her father-in-law again...I think my mom would be totally mortified at the fact that I can go so often to a friend's place without any sense of shame and enjoy people's hospitality so unapologetically)... and I asked if she had received Christ before... I wasn't sure cos she has been visiting a church with me and her three sisters are all Christians...

She said that she hasn't and I asked her about what is stopping her... she replied that she hasn't felt the need to....and I started to think about all the reasons why someone should receive Christ...

More peace, more security, more joy..

Healer, provider...

I couldn't think of more reasons and thought that it's true... she really didn't need God...her family was fine, her kids are beautiful and very healthy... and her career was fine too...

and I thought about the reasons why I had accepted Christ...

because I wanted a better way of doing life... I had seen my parents worship spiteful, unpredictable Gods which required constant stroking of their egos by offerings and prayers and thought that it didn't do them very much good other than rain down a myriad of curses into the family...(they went to a medium when I was born and was told that I will never be close to them....so as much as I tried, I feel like my mom has always kept her distance...Dad believes that bad things happen to him because of stuff he has eaten or things he has done...ie: he got a stroke because he ate beef...not because of any links of the beef affecting his cholesterol levels but just that his Gods were upset with him for this offense and needed to punish him... some wonderful religion huh?)

because I had lived with depression for so long that I thought it was 'normal' to be depressed and that in my darkest days, when I thought that I should just kill myself, Jesus was the answer...He healed my heart and gave me a new identity..instead of a curse, I became a blessing....a perfect and purposeful child of God of the 'right' gender instead of a mistake and a disappointment...

because He is Johovah Jireh...my provider...when I had any lack, He has proven himself faithful time and time again....jobs when I needed them, lucky draw prizes such regular occurences that my friends are more surprised when I do not win stuff... than when I actually do...

and I realized that was all God is to me...

I had shortchanged my friend..

I even told her that I thought that my personal view is that at the point of death, God is gracious and will still allow us to go to heaven if we accept His son as our saviour....

Is that right?

I had completely forgotten to tell her that it's because Jesus is the answer to everything. That He is God and He has been sent to earth to save us from our sins by dying on the cross. That we are sinners in need of a saviour. Maybe I haven't had that conviction... perhaps I'm still a pharisee or 'elder brother'... believing that I had done everything right and God is lucky to have me on his team....

Ok...this is really hard to face up to... I honestly don't see myself as a sinner...I see myself more like a victim of circumstances and think that I have turned out pretty well for the crappy family God has given me... ! And that I have turned to God cos He provides so many benefits...!!! Do I really love God..?? or know God....? Oh man...!



Waiting in the dungeon



This came in early in the morning. 

First thoughts:

"Why would it take so long to verify a police check and a photocopy of a passport?!"

"What a waste of time!! If they could have let us know earlier, I could have flown back to US with Dennis and spent a couple months with him!!"

"Again, what a waste of time...I could have spent all these months working...and earning money and saving some and giving some to my parents..!"

"I feel so invalid as a person. Not working for so long...I feel like I am not contributing at all.."

Out of the thoughts, number 3 and 4 were especially troubling...because they point to wrong beliefs that I think I still habour regarding the 'worth' and value of a person.. Processed those thoughts with my very wise husband and he also pointed out that if I had been working, I might not have had the privilege to journey and bring some of my friends to Christ and various churches..

The initial fury has now turned into acceptance and possible thanksgiving...

The Keeper and I have not actually 'wasted' these last few months and have in fact invested heavily time-wise in our marriage and friendship and had a couple hours of conversation everyday...and we are at a place where we both feel known and loved..

The godly community that I thought that I might establish with the people in the church I was attending by serving in the children's church...is now being filled by friends in Soakability church who have really taken me under their wings- in no small measure thanks to the goodwill of my eldest sister who has been there for the past couple of years. I joined them for an outreach on Sunday and they were all so friendly and welcoming that I was rather taken aback.. and the other thing about Soakability is their mobility...they have three people going for bethel's school of supernatural in a couple of weeks..and through them, I also met a guy who's based in a charismatic church in North Carolina..feels as if God is putting out a network for me and paving the way before I step onto US soil... 

Something that I didn't quite expect was the equipping...it started out more of accompanying a friend for the Monday classes at school of supernatural and now I'm learning about prophecies, word of knowledge and healing...which also might come in pretty handy in the States.. 

And the last thing which I don't think was quite possible is the restoration of relationships between my family and myself... I feel like a person who is sinking and drowning and have depleted all my energy and human devices..hopefully this is when God can swop in and move mightily...

God, You are good and You are in control and You have our future in Your hands. And we put our whole trust in you. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

One year ago on this day...


This day last year.

The above happened.

Just a few moments before the picture was taken, the following exchange was said...

GROOM

I, Dennis Ison, take you Sim Chin Ting to be my wife, before God who brought us together; to love and cherish you even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her, to lead you and share all of life's experiences with you by following God; that through His grace may we grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

BRIDE

And with this ring, I, Sim Chin Ting, take you, Dennis Ison, to be my husband, before God who brought us together, to love you, cherish you, to submit myself unto you in all things, and to follow you through all of life's experiences as you follow God; that through His grace may we grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.
Dear Dennis, what a blessing it is to be able share my life's journey with you.

Thank you for being such an exemplary model of a servant-leader, for demonstrating what being kind, gentle and sacrificial looks like on a daily basis and for always believing in the best of me and spurring me to be the best version of myself and reminding me to keep my eyes on the cross when I fumble and for being strong yet tender...for doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

Thank you. God answered all my prayers and more in you and my heart overflows with joy for the privilege of being your help meet.